Welcome To  Pandra's Reflections Of Grief, My inspirational website, is to serve as a vehicle to raise awareness about the “Dangers Of Unsafe Drivers / Texting While Driving.” My mission is to save  as many lives as possible! 

This  website is in loving memory of our precious son, Paul ' Andre ' Williams, Jr.( 24 ), his friends, Morgan Alfred, Jr.( 20 ), and Deshawn McIntyre ( 19 ). Tragically, they were killed in a horrific car accident in which my nephew was the driver and the only survivor. Also this website is in memory of my devoted father, Rev. Boykin Hunter ( 48 ), my unforgettable brother, Rev. Micheal Dean Hunter ( 41 ), and my adorable sister and best friend, Jacquelyn Hunter - Kendrick (39 ). I would also like to dedicate this website to my beautiful family, who along with God, has been my greatest sustaining strength and support throughout our lifetime of struggles.

Years ago, I really thought that real tragedies, only happened to people in the news, or to people I didn't know personally. And certainly not to me, or my family and friends. Little did I know that my day would soon come. For grief has no discrimination. And unfortunately, my day came on the morning of May 10, 2000.That's the day when our son,  Andre, left home to ride with my nephew to work, because he was supposed to use his car to take care of some personal business later on that day. Usually I would always tell him," I love you Andre, please be triple careful! O.K." Then he would reply," I know Ma,  I told you you worry too much!" The conversation averagely ended with him quickly, but embarrassingly responding, " I love you too  Ma!" But this particular morning he left so fast,  I figured I'd tell him when he come back home to get dressed for the day. But sadly about 20, or 25 minutes later, I received the most horrifying call of my life. My sister was on the other line screaming and hollering that someone had just called her and said that her son, Durran, had an accident, and two people were dead! And just like that, in an instant, countless lives were changed  forever. I remember thinking that, maybe I'm having a nightmare, and someone is gonna wake me up soon. But reality abruptly slapped me in the face. We were told that my nephew, Durran, was running late for work, and lost control of his car, and  slammed into a tree, then hit a concrete light pole. We eventually found out that the two people dead were my nephew's best friends, Deshawn and Morgan..Tragically, they were both killed on impact! Our son Andre, and my nephew, were rushed to Broward General Hospital in critical condition. It seemed as though it took forever for us to get to the hospital. But when we did arrive, we were quickly taken into a private room. Then finally, the Doctor came in. He said that our son's injuries were extremely critical, and that he's on a respirator, and his injuries are so severe that there's nothing they can do to save him.There are no words to describe the pain, the agony, and the devastation that we all endured. It was absolutely nightmarish! And to make a long story short, our dear Andre lived for six horrifying days! So my nephew ended up being the only survivor. The thing that makes this even more tragic, is that all four of these young men were very well respected, extremely popular, church going gentlemen, and were literally in the prime of their lives. None of them smoke, did drugs, nor drank.  Neither were they talking on the cell phone or texting. Durran was simply doing what we all sometimes do, he was rushing to get to work, because he didn't want to be late. Unfortunately this can happen to anyone that drives a vehicle, even the most experienced drivers. I truly hope that this tragedy reminds everyone, that when we get behind the wheel of our cars, there are millions of lives that depend on each of us driving safely. This automatically means that we definitely should not drink alcohol, or do drugs and drive.  Be extremely careful when talking on cell phones. And never, ever do text messaging  while driving! This is not only  extremely dangerous, but totally irresponsible. And certainly it's not worth a person losing their life.  Please Remember To Slow Down!  Even if it causes you to be a few minutes late. For definitely, it's better to be late, than to be sorry, later. And if this tragedy causes even one person to actually slow down, or stop texting while driving, then certainly, this message was not in vain.

I'd like to clarify that these are some of my personal reflections of grief, and is in no way based on anyone else's opinions or views.  I thank each of you for taking time out of your busy schedules to visit my site. Since this is my first official website, I could only hope that it will inspire, encourage, and help bring healing to you. While visiting, If this website helps you in anyway, I'd welcome your kind thoughts, well wishes, or any feedback written on my testimonials page.  Please feel free to pass the word to your family and friends, or even your enemy, If you want.

I vowed to share my story to help others commit to, “Safe Driving / No Texting While Driving” and to give hope to those experiencing unimaginable grief.  Remember to keep a prayer covering over your family and love ones at all times, and be grateful for every moment you have with them. Please don't take each other for granted, because none of us knows what the future holds. Don't forget , to “Comfort those in trouble with the same comfort we ourselves have received from God”. ( 1 Corinthians 1: 4 ) So Let the healing begin and love like there's no tomorrow!

I personally feel that there is no pain greater, than a mother suffering after the death of her child. For the pain penetrates to our soul, and the very essence of our identity. Ever since the day that my kids were born, my identity was that I am “the mother of two kids." Now, when someone asks me, “how many kids do you have?” I almost feel as though I'm defending my identity by saying “I had two kids, but one of them died.” The truth is that my identity will always be that I'm the mother of two kids.” The day that my son, Paul “Andre” Williams, Jr. (24) died, there became a void so deep in my heart and soul that only GOD could touch it. Even if I had fifteen other kids and loved every one of them dearly, none of them could fill that sacred void. I'm eternally grateful to God for blessing me and my husband to still have our other son Cleavon Jermaine Williams, who is 23 years old. We always referred to him as our miracle child because he was born two months premature, on May 11, 1985, weighing 3lbs, 6oz. He was immediately rushed to the pediatric intensive care unit. One week later, he developed a deadly infection called necrotizing enterocolitis, which caused a portion of his intestines to become gangrene. His doctor told us that the infection had already invaded his whole system, and the only reason he was still alive was because of the breathing machine. He said that without immediate surgery his chance of dying was 100 percent! Even with surgery, he most likely wouldn’t survive, but they'd rather do surgery than to do nothing. So, they allowed the family to quickly say our goodbyes! For they really didn't give us any hope. As the doctors rolled him into surgery, I remember feeling as though I was seeing my precious baby alive for the last time! While family and friends gathered, we all prayed for a miracle. Thank God we received it because Cleavon survived the surgery, and we were all ecstatic with joy! Over a span of time, Cleavon endured three more surgeries, developed severe asthma, and a very rare form of epilepsy. He has almost died several times. Only by the Grace of God he's alive today, and I can't imagine life without him. Although he's hearing impaired, I thank God that he doesn’t have complete hearing loss. Today, Cleavon is a handsome, good-hearted and loving young man. There’s so much that I could say about his experiences, but I’d have to write a book. Because of Cleavon's various, near-death episodes, we always worried about the possibility that we may have to face life without him.

Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that it would be our son "Andre," that we'd have to live without. I'll never forget the date, May 10, 2000; the day before Cleavon's 15th birthday. That is the day that countless lives were instantly changed forever. My nephew was running late for work, and lost control of his car. He ended up slamming into a tree, and then hit a concrete light pole. Tragically, his two best friends Morgan Alfred, Jr. (20), and Deshawn Mcintyre (19), were killed on impact. Andre and my nephew were rushed to Broward General Medical Center; both in critical condition. When we finally arrived at the hospital, the doctor told us that Andre's injuries were extremely severe, and there was nothing they could do to save him. There are no words to describe the heart-wrenching feelings, and complete devastation of seeing your child connected to machines from head to toe. It just seemed so unreal, that the man lying in that hospital bed was our loving son, Andre. We were so accustomed to him laughing, joking, and having that beautiful, contagious smile that everyone loved so dearly. It was absolutely overwhelming, seeing him on a jet respirator. The machine was very noisy, and it caused his whole body to shake uncontrollably. His doctor informed us that his neck was completely severed, his lungs were crushed, and he had severe trauma to the back of his head. He also said that anyone could visit him, to say their goodbyes because they didn't expect him to survive through the night. For the next six nightmarish days, a countless amount of family, friends, and so many young people literally camped out at the hospital. It was amazing! I've never in my life seen such a huge amount of young people pray so hard, and believe so strong for God to perform a miracle. There were some days that we had to squeeze our way through the crowd to get to the ICU to see our son. Even the hospital staff and other visitors were wondering if Andre was some type of celebrity. We told them that he was a professional drummer but just a loved person. That dreadful day came on May 16, at about 3:00p.m. Family and friends were all gathered around his bedside, and you could feel the "love bond" as it penetrated throughout the room. Even now, it's difficult for me to explain what transpired at that time, but I remember hearing myself coach Andre out of his "earthly body." It was as though our spirits were communicating with each other. Somehow, I knew that he was too afraid to let go, and he was worried about us being alright. It was as though I could actually see the angels “serenading him” to come to the light. I heard myself softly telling him, "Andre sweetie, it’s time for you to go with the angels, they’ll take good care of you. You don’t have to worry about us, we’ll be alright. You’ve been so brave, but you can’t stay in your messed up body anymore! You have to go with the angels, ok? We’re so proud of you, and you’re the best son we could ever ask for. Andre, we love you so much, and we’ll never ever forget you! But Andre, you have to let go now! Baby you’ve been so strong, and we love you sweetheart! You got to go with the angels now! Just follow that beautiful light, and don’t be scared. Go Andre, go!” Then suddenly, I felt a peace that surpasses all of my understanding! How could I feel peace when I had ushered my precious, beloved son to his heavenly home?! Certainly, I don't know how to explain it, but I knew that he had finally gone with the angels! Those that were present, said that they had never in their lives witnessed such a beautiful send off. I say, “TO GOD BE THE GLORY!” Out of respect for Morgan Alfred’s and Deshawn McIntyre's funerals, which were both held on May 20, we scheduled Andre's service for the following Saturday. We were told that there were at least 2,000 people that attended his funeral, but to be honest I was too numb to notice. However, I do remember that it was the most glorious, spirit-filled, but emotional service that I've ever attended. I thank GOD that since the day of the accident, we've been overshadowed with unimaginable love and support from so many people, even strangers. I’ll never, ever forget it.

Initially, when I began building this website, I had no idea that God was guiding me through another stage of my healing process. I just felt compelled to do something special in honor of Andre, Morgan, and Deshawn. I figured if I could inspire one person to remember to slow down and drive safely, then at least their deaths would not be in vain. My advice could potentially spare another family from being sentenced to a lifetime of heartache and despair, as we've been dealt. But God works in mysterious ways! God knew that since Andre's death that I was unable to look at his pictures, although I desperately longed to see his face. It was just too painful! But God knew that I needed to conquer that fear in order to encourage someone else to do the same. So as I began putting this website together and browsing through literally hundreds of photographs, and gathering them up, I suddenly realized that I was not just only looking at Andre's pictures, but I was also cropping and resizing them; looking for as many as I could find. To my amazement, it was such a comfort to finally look at his face and allow myself to remember the good times we shared. This was a major accomplishment for me, especially since I wanted it so badly! I've even revisited so many of my most painful emotions that I had subconsciously suppressed for several years. Fortunately, I truly needed that release in order to effectively guide someone else through their painful journey. Ultimately, it means that God has gotten Glory from my pain! So, if this website doesn't inspire anyone else, it is certainly not in vain. Only God knew that this website would serve as a vehicle to propel me to my next healing level. To God be the glory!

TEXTING WHILE DRIVING

Texting While Driving continues to be a huge problem,especially among young drivers.  Texting While Driving statistics indicate that it's absolutely necessary for parents to counsel their teenage children as to the hazards of Texting While Driving. Parents need to tell their children that it is better to be safe than sorry and a moment's loss of concentration, especially, when driving at high speeds can have disastrous consequences.  Whether you're changing the radio station, driving under the influence, watching the kids from the rear view window, putting on makeup, speeding, talking on the cell phone or texting, etc, distracted driving has become a deadly epidemic. And we need to take personal responsibility and help put an end to this dangerous behavior. It only takes a split second to become distracted while driving, and science shows that our brain can't multitask the way that a lot of people think they can. Studies show that brain activity is lowered by 37% when someone drives and uses a cell phone simultaneously. Experts have seen that using a cell phone and driving at the same time, stalls reaction times of drivers to the same degree as motorists with a blood - alcohol concentration at the legal limit of 0.08. A driver who's texting takes their eyes off the road nearly five seconds at a time which, according to reports, is enough time to travel the length of a football field at 55 miles per hour, including the end zones, without looking at the road.  Most Americans admit that texting and talking on the cell phone is two of the most dangerous things to do while driving. But, 67% admit that they do it anyway. According to the National Safety Council, Texting While Driving contributes to more than 200,000 automobile accidents each year. Among the various driving distractions, Texting While Driving  stands out as the most dangerous.  Because of this, 30 states across America have made the use of a cell phone while driving illegal. Others have enacted laws to ban handheld mobile phone use, but allow use of a handfree device. But realistically, it happens everyday, drivers are  sending or reading text messages without a thought of what lies ahead.  I appeal to all those who are Texting While Driving, please stop doing it now. Who knows, the life you save may be your love one, or my life, or even your own life. For certainly, no phone call, email, or text message is worth a person losing their life. So Please Remember To Slow Down!  Even if it causes you to be a few minutes late. For definitely, it's better to be late, than to be sorry, later. And never, ever text while driving. And if our tragedy causes even one person to actually slow down, or stop Texting While Driving, then certainly, this message was not in vain.

This is my nephew Pernell Durran Grice, and his adorable daughter Terika. Unfortunately, he was the driver and only survivor of that horrible car accident that took the lives of three young men. Thank God his injuries were not severe, and he eventually made a full recovery. Although he only has a couple of visible scars, his emotional scars are extensive and permanent. He has to forever bear the burden of knowing that he's ultimately responsible for the death of his favorite cousin Andre, whom he tried to imitate ever since he started walking. He always tried to walk, talk, dress like him, and even tried to wear his hair like him. Andre really was his role model. Morgan and Deshawn were his two best friends and co-workers. He even had a picture of Deshawn hanging from the mirror in his car. He had proudly shown it to me a few days before the accident. He's constantly tormented with the reality that they're all gone forever, and can't understand why God didn't let them live, and he be the one that died. I've often heard him say, “Why didn't God take me instead? Why?” But, I comfort myself and him by concluding that God needed a 'master drummer,' and he lovingly chose Andre. Plus, he needed some more skilled musicians, so he sweetly selected Morgan and Deshawn, who were both musicians also. Morgan was a talented drummer and Deshawn was an awesome songster. Since they had completed their assignments on earth, God called them for additional assignments in heaven. Shortly after Andre's death, our son Cleavon, who's hearing impaired, told the family that he saw Andre beating the drums really fast, but different. He said he saw “a whole bunch of thousands of angel people in all white clothes” standing around Andre, and they were so happy when he beat the drums. He shared that God was looking at Andre, and smiling. He said that's what he saw in his eyes when he was asleep. I believe it, and I also believe that Durran couldn't die because God still has a purpose and a plan for his life. Somehow, this horrendous tragedy fits into God's plan, although it definitely didn’t feel like it should. However, we must trust God that it will ultimately work out for our good, because God really does know what's best for us! Today, Durran is one of the drummers for the same church that Andre used to play for. Unfortunately, he's often misjudged because outwardly he appears as though everything is just fine. But thank God I realize that it’s merely a desperate attempt to cover up the real torment that he's experiencing everyday for the rest of his life! I've personally witnessed his torment on many occasions, and trust me there are no winners in this horrific tragedy! There's seemingly unbearable pain from every direction, and only God knows why he chose each of us for such a life-altering travesty. I do know that it has tested the very essence of our character, and God has entrusted each of us to ultimately exemplify His true forgiveness, so that others may realize that we can still do ALL things through Christ that strengthens us! To God be the Glory!